Lending a helping hand

(Thanks Dan)

As I came out of the supermarket that sunny day, pushing my cart of groceries towards my car, I saw an old man with the hood of his car up and a lady sitting inside the car, with the door open.

The old man was looking at the engine.   I put my groceries away in my car, and continued to watch the old gentleman from about twenty-five feet away.

I saw a young man in his early twenties with a grocery bag in his arm walking towards the old man. The old gentleman saw him coming too, and took a few steps towards him.

I saw the old gentleman point to his open hood and say something. The young man put his grocery bag into what looked like a brand new Cadillac Escalade. He then turned back to the old man. I heard him yell at the old gentleman saying: “You shouldn't even be allowed to drive a car at your age." And then with a wave of his hand, he got in his car and peeled rubber out of the parking lot.

I saw the old gentleman pull out his handkerchief, and mop his brow as he went back to his car and again looked at the engine. He then went to his wife and spoke with her; he appeared to tell her it would be okay.

I had seen enough, and I approached the old man.   He saw me coming and stood straight, and as I got near him I said, 'Looks like you're having a problem.'

He smiled sheepishly, and quietly nodded his head. I looked under the hood myself, and whatever the problem was, it was beyond me.

Looking around, I saw a gas station up the road, and I told the old man that I would be right back. I drove to the station and I went inside. I saw three attendants working on cars. I approached one of them, and related the problem the old man had with his car. I offered to pay them if they could follow me back down and help him.

The old man had pushed the heavy car under the shade of a tree and appeared to be comforting his wife. When he saw us he straightened up and thanked me for my help. As the mechanics diagnosed the problem (overheated engine), I spoke with the old gentleman.

When I shook hands with him earlier, he had noticed my Marine Corps ring and had commented about it, telling me that he had been a Marine too. I nodded and asked the usual question, 'What outfit did you serve with?'

He had mentioned that he served with the first Marine Division at Tarawa, Saipan, Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal...

He had hit all the big ones and retired from the Corps after the war was over. As we talked we heard the car engine come on and saw the mechanics lower the hood. They came over to us as the old man reached for his wallet, but was stopped by me. I told him I would just put the bill on my AAA card.

He still reached for the wallet and handed me a card that I assumed had his name and address on it and I stuck it in my pocket. We shook hands all around again, and I said my goodbyes to his wife.

I then told the two mechanics that I would follow them back up to the station. Once at the station, I told them that they had interrupted their own jobs to come along with me and help the old man. I said I wanted to pay for the help, but they refused to charge me.

One of them pulled out a card from his pocket, looking exactly like the card the old man had given to me. Both of the men told me then that they were Marine Corps Reserves. Once again we shook hands all around and as I was leaving, one of them told me I should look at the card the old man had given to me. I said I would and drove off.

For some reason I had gone about two blocks, when I pulled over and took the card out of my pocket and looked at it for a long, long time. The name of the old gentleman was on the card in golden leaf and under his name was written: ‘Congressional Medal of Honor Society.'

I sat there motionless, looking at the card and reading it over and over. I looked up from the card and smiled to no one but myself and marveled that on this day, four Marines had all come together because one of us needed help. He was an old man all right, but it felt good to have stood next to greatness and courage, and an honor to have been in his presence.

Remember, OLD men like him gave our FREEDOM for America.  Thanks to those who served and still serve, and to all of those who supported them, and who continue to support them.

America is not at war.  The U.S.  Military is at war. America is at the Mall.   If you don't stand behind our troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them.

Remember, Freedom IS NOT free.  Thousands have paid the price, so you can enjoy what you have today.

LET'S PRAY THIS - JUST 19 WORDS:

GOD OUR FATHER, WALK THROUGH MY HOUSE AND TAKE AWAY ALL MY WORRIES; AND PLEASE WATCH OVER AND HEAL MY FAMILY; AND PLEASE PROTECT OUR FREEDOMS, AND WATCH OVER OUR TROOPS, 'WHO ARE DEFENDING THOSE FREEDOMS'.  AMEN.

GOVERNMENT HELP

By Diane Forrest

After looking at this poster the first thing that came to mind was the events that happened in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina and all the many stories that developed from that crisis.  I saw several clips where there were many complaints that the government didn’t do enough for them such as their new home they were provided with was not big or fancy enough, their complimentary TV was too small, their clothes were not from the fashion runways, and they were not able to eat steak every night.

I am not opposed to temporary assistance during a specific time frame.  Everyone needs help at one time or another.    I found myself in tough circumstances at one time during my life.  My husband was fired from his job after he suffered his injury, I was let go from my job at the hospital during a downsizing phase, and I had a small child at home.  I quickly found another job, but the pay was significantly lower than my previous job.  I went to the family assistance center to see about getting some help, but the process was so humiliating, that I quickly left.   We made some changes at home, got help from our families and I got a part time job on my days off.

The state welfare program was designed to offer help to those during a 3-year time frame.  This system has been abused to the extent that not only do people use it indefinitely; they produce more children to increase their income, and then teach their children how to get government help too.

While riding by our local welfare office I could not believe all the nice new cars that were parked outside.  I had read an article about an emergency room Doctor who had a patient wearing expensive clothes, gold chains taking on his iPhone, but expecting free medical treatment through Medicaid.   These are the things that infuriate most of us, and the reason why our country is in such bad financial shape.

Every afternoon I go to my father's house and watch Judge Judy with him.  In over half of the cases we see one of the participants is receiving government assistance.  In on particular case this woman was suing the owner of a business school because she didn’t learn anything. Not only was her education free, paid for by grants, but she wanted that money, which she didn't earn, to be returned to her.  Judge Judy told her she didn’t work for her education, that she did, and all other taxpayers did, and she wasn’t going to be paid twice because she failed to learn.

I believe there comes a time in your life when you have to stand on your own two feet (if you are physically able) and take responsibility for your own self, and any offspring you produce.  If you can't afford it, you can’t have it!!  What are your feelings?  Leave us a comment below.

Emotional Abuse

By Nurse Diane

There is a saying that you can't teach an old dog a new trick.  Well I guess that just depends on the dog, and what trick you are trying to teach him.

When I was in nursing school, I was in class with a lady who was in her mid to late 40's.  It was a small group in the class, and we became very close.  She had five kids, who were all grown, except for one who was in high school, and they lived with her husband.    He was a few years younger than her, and outward appearances made them seem like the perfect couple.  Occasionally she would come to class with bruises on her arms, every now and then a black eye she would cover with make up and sunglasses.  I never thought anything about it; she was an intelligent person, who blamed it on being accident-prone.  One day she called me, asked me to come over to her home.  When I went, I was shocked at what I saw.  Not only was she bruised up, but had a bloody nose and lip.  I immediately took her packed a bag for her and her daughter and took them out to a fishing camp she owned. She confided to me that he would hit her all the time, and any small thing would set him off.  She was convinced that she loved him, and he would change, but it took her action of leaving to make him see what he had, and what he was about to lose.  Her husband got the help he needed, and 20 years later, they are still together and happily married, and he has not hit her again.

Taking that first step is very difficult.  She had concerns about how she could support herself, she was a student, and not working at the time, and she was scared that he would come after her again.

I have another friend who is also in an abusive relationship.  Only this type of abuse doesn't leave physical scars, but emotional ones. Below are some signs you are in an emotional relationship from loveisrespect.org:

• Checking your cell phone or email without permission
• Constantly putting you down
• Extreme jealousy or insecurity
• Explosive temper
• Isolating you from family or friends
• Making false accusations
• Mood swings
• Physically hurting you in any way
• Possessiveness
• Telling you what to do

Some other signs include:

1. You're afraid to tell your partner about a normal happening - your car needs breaks, your boss made you work overtime - because you're not sure how he will react.
2. When you do talk to your significant other, he puts you down and makes you feel stupid.
3. You make yourself available to your partner no matter what the personal cost - just to avoid a confrontation.
4. You no longer want to bring your significant other around your friends or family because you're afraid he will berate you and humiliate you in front of your loved ones.
5. You've begun to believe that you're the crazy one -- that you're the one with the problem.
6. When talking about an accomplishment - a promotion or something equally exciting - your partner sneers at you, putting you down, mocking your achievement rather than celebrating it.
7. You feel helpless, like you're trapped in the relationship.
8. Your partner treats you like an object, like property, not like a person with real feelings.
9. Your partner keeps a tight control on all things: money, the phone, using the car, who you see and what you do.
10. If you fight back, your significant other blames you for the abusive behavior. "If you weren't so dumb, I wouldn't have to yell at you."
11. You've begun to see yourself as worthless -- just like your partner tells you you are.
12. You'll go out of your way to please your significant other, no matter how much you have to sacrifice. If that means staying up all night to wash the floor, so be it. It beats the "lecture."
13. You're in complete isolation. Your partner doesn't want you around your friends or family and has convinced you that THEY are the ones who are abusive to you - not him.
14. You've begun to feel as though you deserve to be treated badly. If you were a better person, you wouldn't make him so mad!
15. You find yourself having to rush to his defense whenever he is brought up in conversation. You make excuses for his behavior regardless of the situation.

She also has the same concerns, how will I live, how can I support myself? I tried to explain that this relationship is not healthy, and she is not happy, and if she wants the relationship to change, she has to take a step.  Going along with the way things are will only convince the other partner that you approve of his/her actions.

If some of the signs listed above describe your relationship with your spouse, there are places you can go to for help.  http://www.loveisrespect.org/get-help/get-help has a hotline where you can call or chat online.  Everyone deserves the pursuit of happiness.  Taking that first step in the right direction is the best way to start for a happier, healthier you!

CALL 1-866-331-9474 Now - for help with Emotional Abuse.

Understanding Self-Harm/Injury Awareness Month

By Nurse Diane

What do Singer, Fiona Apple; Comedian, Russell Brand; Actress, Drew Barrymore; Actor, Johnny Depp; Actor, Colin Farrell; Actress, Megan Fox; Actress, Angelina Jolie; Singer, Demi Lovato and Princess Diana have in common? 

Before finding emotional health, they struggled with self-injury.

Self injury can take many forms from cutting, picking, burning, bruising, puncturing, embedding, scratching or hitting one's self, just to name a few and does not involve a conscious intent to commit suicide.   Generally, it is a deliberate, private act that is habitual in occurrence, not attention-seeking behavior, nor meant to be manipulative. Self-injurers are often secretive about their behaviors, rarely letting others know, and often cover up their wounds with clothing, bandages, or jewelry.

A psychologist and practicing psychoanalyst, Dr. Deborah Serani specializes in treating trauma and depression. In her website: she offers this information: http://drdeborahserani.blogspot.com/2013/03/march-1st-is-international-self-injury.html

Those Who Self-Injure Are Often Trying To:

* Distract themselves from emotional pain

* End feelings of numbness

* Offset feelings of low self-esteem

* Control helplessness or powerlessness

* Calm overwhelming or unmanageable feelings

* Maintaining control in chaotic situations

* Self-punish, self-shame or self-hate

* Express negative thoughts or feelings that cannot be put into words

* Self-nurture or self-care

According to recoverymonth.gov, Most children and teens who deliberately injure themselves are discharged from emergency rooms without an evaluation of their mental health, a new study shows. The findings are worrisome since risk for suicide is greatest right after an episode of deliberate self-harm, according to researchers at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. The researchers also found the majority of these kids do not receive any follow-up care with a mental health professional up to one month after their ER visit.

If you notice any changes in someone's behavior or dress, or see any signs of scarring, click on this site for ways to offer help and support.  http://sioutreach.org/

International Boost Self-Esteem and Expect Success Month

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By Terry Orr

Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self-esteem is also known as the evaluative dimension of the self that includes feelings of worthiness, prides and discouragement. One's self esteem is also closely associated with self-consciousness. (Source: Wikipedia)

Confidence is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself. Arrogance or hubris in this comparison, is having unmerited confidence—believing something or someone is capable or correct when they are not. Overconfidence or presumptuousness is excessive belief in someone (or something) succeeding, without any regard for failure. Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy as those without it may fail or not try because they lack it and those with it may succeed because they have it rather than because of an innate ability. (Source: Wikipedia)

According to Psych Center - Have you wondered about what self-esteem is and how to get more of it? Do you think your self-esteem is low? Do you know how to tell? Do you know what to do about it?

Self-esteem answers the question, “How do I feel about who I am?” We learn self-esteem in our family of origin; we do not inherit it.

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Interesting and favorite quotes:

“Believe in yourself and the world will follow suit.”

― Tadahiko Nagao, Kokology: The Game of Self-Discovery

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”

― Norman Vincent Peale

“How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day…You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others”

― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“You're always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”

― Diane Von Furstenberg

“People simply feel better about themselves when they’re good at something.”

― Stephen R. Covey, The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness

“I exist as I am, that is enough,

If no other in the world be aware I sit content,

And if each and all be aware I sit content.

One world is aware, and by the far the largest to me, and that is myself.”

― Walt Whitman

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Self-esteem and Expect Success Tips:

Count Your Blessing – All too often we fail to appreciate what we have.  Take a few minutes each and every day and give thanks.

Help Others – Is always a good thing to do and frequently you will feel better too

Be True to yourself – You are unique, one of a kind – keep that in mind.

Learn how to relax – Lots of ways to do this…find a few that are just right for you.

Volunteer – Pitch in and help

Smile – Is good for you and those around you.

Laugh – Laughter is the best Medicine – no doubt about it!

Think Positive thoughts – Find the up side of things and keep them your central focus!

Have Fun - Do something that you really enjoy!

Exercise – We hear it all the time to exercise and benefits in doing so – and it works!

Give Someone a Hug – An emotion that really helps. It is a simple act – but an important one.

Get Help – There are times we simply need to get help – Do It!  Best advice I can offer you and yes, been there done that – and it made a huge difference.

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Take another look into that mirror, smile, think positive things and enjoy your day!

References and Links:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/how-to-raise-your-self-esteem/

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/self_esteem.html