By Diane Forrest
This is a subject many people
don't want to talk about. When my
husband was alive he constantly wanted to discuss getting life insurance. I didn't want to discuss it, feeling that if
he knew it was there he would give up the will to live. Death was always on his
mind, he would have dreams about it talk to his friend who worked at a funeral
home, asked him endless questions and even wanted to observe how they got
someone ready for burial. When we would be out he would invite people to his
funeral, which I said was just wrong.
I on the other hand figured if I
didn't discuss it, or changed the subject, that he wouldn't ever die and we
would live happily ever after. That
didn't happen, as you know there are 2 certainties in life, death and
taxes. When my husband passed away it
was completely unexpected. My husband
had been paralyzed by an accident at work, however he had no other medical
problems, no high blood pressure, no diabetes, no heart problems or breathing
problems. He just couldn't move from his
waist down. He had been bedridden for 3
years and had developed sepsis and possible pneumonia. There were no warning signs; he just couldn't
wake up one morning. The doctors and
nurses did all they could to save him, but it was just his time to go. His death not only left me in shock, but in
financial distress too. Not only did I
lose my husband, I also lost my job the same day. As a nurse, I was being paid by his insurance
company to take care of him. It was a
real struggle to make it through that first year. Trying to live without him, and paying the bills
too.
I was also involved with his
worker's comp case, which made things even more stressful. Because of this active case, an estate had to
be opened. His worker's comp case
finally settled in January of this year, however the estate battle is still
ongoing, over 2 and a half years after his death. I am now in a battle with his sons from
previous marriage and it has been devastating.
It has caused me stress, anxiety and medical problems such as
hypertension and depression.
This could have all been avoided
had we planned properly for such an event.
No matter what you leave behind when you leave this world, someone will
be there to fight over it. Whether its
family members, designated charities, lawyers, or the government.
Some of the lessons I have learned are:
Don't assume. Each state is different and the laws are not
the same. If you think that when you die
everything goes to your spouse automatically, you could be wrong.
Have a signed will (a
copy doesn't count). You must have the
original in a safe place.
If you cosign for any
property, when one dies, the cosigner is still responsible for the debt.
Some necessary steps to take:
Make a will!!! If you are single, married, have children or
siblings. Make clear instructions where
you want your belongings to go.
Buy life insurance. This is necessary if you want to protect your
children or spouse from financial burden, and also to cover the expenses of
your burial or disposition of your remains.
Talk to a lawyer and/or
financial planner if your estate is large or complicated.
Don't wait! You can't predict the end of your life well unless
you take matters in your own hands. My
husband was only 52 when he passed away.
My brother was 23 when he was killed in an accident. You need to prepare for those you leave
behind. Never assume that your family
will not fight over what you have to leave.
Death affects people differently.
I would have never imagined I would be in a court dispute with my
stepsons, but here I am.
My father was talking to his
neighbor the other day, a man who is almost 49 years old. He is married, has stepchildren, and
grandchildren, siblings and in-laws. My
father asked him if he had a will. He
didn't. He explained to him all the
trouble I was going through and what his family was capable of doing, and
encouraged him to talk to his brother-in-law, who is an attorney, and have a
will drawn up as soon as possible to protect his wife and the property and
possessions they own.
If you haven't made final
arrangements for yourself...now is the best time to start your planning. Don't wait until it’s too late!!! Share with us some of your estate battles in
the comment section below.
(Photos from Google)
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