Happy Birthday America

Elderly Banking - Enjoy

Recently received email to share

Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86-year-old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

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Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.

When you call me, press buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

#1. To make an appointment to see me

#2. To query a missing payment.

#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required.

Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.

#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7 again

#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

And remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.

International Firefighters Day – 2014

By Terry Orr

International Firefighters’ Day is observed each year on 4th May. On this date you are invited to remember the past firefighters who have died while serving our community or dedicated their lives to protecting the safety of us all. At the same time, we can show our support and appreciation to the firefighters worldwide who continue to protect us so well throughout the year. (Source: http://www.firefightersday.org)  

“The role of a firefighter in today’s society – be it urban, rural, natural environment, volunteer, career, industrial, defence force, aviation, motor sport, or other is one of dedication, commitment and sacrifice – no matter what country we reside and work in. In the fire service we fight together against one common enemy – fire – no matter what country we come from, what uniform we wear or what language we speak.” - Lt JJ Edmondson, 1999

Did you know that May 4th is also the feast day of Saint Florian? According to legend, Saint Florian saved an entire burning village in Ancient Rome with a single bucket of water. He is the patron saint of chimney sweeps and firefighters, so it is fitting that we celebrate International Firefighters Day on this particular date. (Source: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/international-firefighters-day)

Previous KISBYTO article on this subject can be found here

http://kisbyto.blogspot.com/2011/05/international-firefighters-day.html

National Military Appreciation Month

By Terry Orr

USN Retired

National Military Appreciation Month started as a simple idea; to gather America around its military family to honor, remember, recognize and appreciate those who have served and those now serving and to know the history behind it all. Subsequent formal legislation informs our service-members that their country has set aside an entire month to honor, remember and appreciate them. (Source: http://www.military.com/military-appreciation-month)

From the National Military Appreciation Month website www.nmam.org

Top Ten Ways to Support Our Military and Veterans!

1. Check out our Events Page for ideas on how to organize an event in your community (http://www.nmam.org/events.htm)
2. Fly the flag on your house, car, and/or business during May
3. Send a Care Package to a soldier through USOCARES (https://www.uso.org/OUCP-donation-page-with-partner.aspx?LangType=1033)
4. Ask your elected officials at all levels to recognize our Military
5. Adopt a Hero at Soldiers’ Angels (http://www.soldiersangels.org)
6. Encourage Libraries, Schools, and Organizations to participate in recognizing our Armed Forces
7. Ask Local Media (TV, Radio, Newspaper) to Feature NMAM
8. When you see a person in a military uniform, shake their hands and say: “Thank you for serving our Country”
9. Encourage Schools to Study American Military History during May
10. Hire a Veteran

Beautiful Life

25 AWESOME TIPS FOR BEAUTIFUL LIFE!!!

By  Terry Orr

Tips for a Stunning Life (Facebook posting)

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & While you walk, SMILE It is the ultimate antidepressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

3. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God’s guidance for your purpose, today.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.  

7. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!

11. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

14. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’

17. Help the needy, Be generous! Be a ‘Giver’ not a ‘Taker’

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. Time heals everything. 

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed, Pray to God and Be thankful for what you’ll accomplish, today!

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. Share this to everyone on your list to help them lead a happier life…!!!!

Print it! Post it! Follow it! Enjoy it!