Sharing the love with others....and humor...enjoy
1.Where there's a will, I want to
be in it.
2. The
last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3.Since light travels faster than
sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4.If I agreed with you, we'd both
be wrong.
5. We
never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War
does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge
knows a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. They
begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it
isn't.
9. To
steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. Buses
stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work
station.
11. I
thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. In
filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I
put 'DOCTOR.'
13.I didn't say it was your
fault, I said I was blaming you.
14.Women will never be equal to
men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.
15.Behind every successful man is
his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A
clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You
do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18.Money can't buy happiness, but
it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's
a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I
used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21.You're never too old to learn
something stupid.
22. To
be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the
target.
23. Nostalgia
isn't what it used to be.
24. Change
is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25.Going to church doesn't make
you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Where
there's a will, there are relatives.
And mine is.........
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to
find one now.
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