National Bullying Day - February 9, 2013

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By Terry Orr

Understanding that bullies (and imitators) have been around for ages – they need to be dealt with immediately – hopefully in a positive and corrective manner.  It has been my misfortune to have been around them since grade school, while in the military and during my consultant careers. All too often, the apple does not fall far from the tree.  This cycle truly needs to be broken.

Last February, we shared information regarding reporting bully behaviors to appropriate officials; educating kids about bullies early on; what to do when someone is being bullied; and working to  prevent bullying.

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What Is Bullying?

Bullying is behavior that hurts or harms another person physically or emotionally. Bullying can be very overt, such as fighting, hitting or name calling, or it can be covert, such as gossiping or leaving someone out on purpose. It is intentional, meaning the act is done willfully, knowingly and with deliberation. The targets have difficulty stopping the behavior directed at them and struggle to defend themselves. [Source: phillyBurbs.com]

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Facts that everyone should know about bullying:

71 percent of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.

90 percent of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying.

Every day, 160,000 students skip school because they are afraid they will be bullied.

The most common reason cited for being harassed is a student's appearance or body size. Two out of five teens feel that they are bullied because of the way that they look.

57 percent of students who experience harassment in school never report the incident to the school. Ten percent of those who do not report stay quiet because they do not believe that teachers or staff can do anything. As a result, more than a quarter of students feel that school is an unsafe place to be.

Nine out of 10 LGBT youth reported being verbally harassed at school in the past year because of their sexual orientation.

41 percent of principals say they have programs designed to create a safe environment for LGBT students, but only 1/3 of principals say that LGBT students would feel safe at their school.

One in four teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4 percent of the time.

A victim of bullying is twice as likely to take his or her own life compared to someone who is not a victim.

Only one in 10 victims of cyberbullying tell a parent. Fewer than one in five cyberbullying incidents are reported to the police.

25% of bullies have a criminal record by the age of 30

Bullying is the most common form of violence in our society

25% of teachers see nothing wrong with bullying or putdowns and consequently intervene in only 4% of bullying incidents. [This fact is terrible truth.]

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Types of Bullying

Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes: Teasing; name-calling; inappropriate sexual comments; taunting; and threatening to cause harm.

Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes: Leaving someone out on purpose; telling other children not to be friends with someone; spreading rumors about someone; and embarrassing someone in public.

Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes: Hitting/kicking/pinching; spitting; tripping/pushing; taking or breaking someone’s things; and making mean or rude hand gestures.

Cyber bullying this type of bullying can be chat rooms, online, instant messaging, on a mobile phone; social networks; and e-mails

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What needs to be done?

Early intervention: Researchers advocate intervening in elementary or middle school, or as early as preschool. Group and building-wide social skills training is highly recommended, as well as counseling and systematic aggression interventions for students exhibiting bullying and victim behaviors.

Parent training: Parents must learn to reinforce their children’s positive behavior patterns and model appropriate interpersonal interactions.

Teacher training:  Training can help teachers identify and respond to potentially damaging victimization as well as to implement positive feedback and modeling to address appropriate social interactions.

Attitude change:  Researchers maintain that society must cease defending bullying behavior as part of growing up or with the attitude of “kids will be kids.” Bullying can be stopped!

Positive school environment: Schools with easily understood rules of conduct, smaller class sizes and fair discipline practices report less violence.

We as parents, guardians, members of the community – together need to work together to reduce bullying and that it is not acceptable behavior – regardless of ones age.

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References and Links:

http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/11-facts-about-school-bullying

http://www.stopbullying.gov/kids/facts/index.html

http://bullyfree.com/free-resources/facts-about-bullying

http://www.phillyburbs.com/blogs/100_percent_preventable/get-the-facts-about-bullying/article_927bef0c-179b-11e2-b1d8-0019bb30f31a.html

http://www.oag.state.va.us/Programs%20and%20Resources/Bullying/Bullying_Facts.html

http://www.nasponline.org/resources/factsheets/bullying_fs.aspx

National Bullying Prevention Month 2012

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By Terry Orr

The End of Bullying Begins with Me: that’s the message during National Bullying Prevention Month in October.  It’s a time when communities can unite nationwide to raise awareness for bullying prevention through events, activities, outreach and education.

Bullying can be defined many ways, but most see agree that bullying has occurred when:

• The behavior hurts another person in a physical or emotional manner;
• The harmful actions are willful and intentional; and
• The targets of bullying have trouble ending the behavior and defending themselves. (Source: Common Ground)

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We have all seen and all too often on the wrong end of a bully – and quite frankly it is not any fun and downright dangerous at times.  My experience happen in high school at the hands of twin brothers – took almost a year to put an end to that. No one should have to endure that sort of treatment.

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Did you know that more than 16,000 students in the USA stay home each day because they're scared of being bullied? This October PACER (Parent Advocacy Coalition for Educational Rights) draws attention to the problem of bullying that affects many disabled children and young adults. By drawing attention the organization hopes to raise awareness to the fact that more needs to be done to tackle the issue. (Source: National Awareness Days).

The Washington Post has a good article by Lamar Tyler who finds out one of his children has become a bully.  It is an interesting read – please click on the link below to read the full article.

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Intimidation is another form of bullying and there seems to have at least one person who thrives on intimidating others in every organization and dealing with them is tricky at best.  Now I personally do not react well to either – and the last time I encountered this situation - it resulted in my early departure of the project that was ending.  In the business world – sometimes stuff happens and really very little one can do about it -  in my case, just moved on to something new to work.  But remember, there are resources available to help deal with bullying and intimidation.

References and Links:

• http://commongroundhelps.org/?p=3810  
• http://www.stopbullying.gov/blog/?p=358
• http://www.nctsn.org/resources/public-awareness/bullying-prevention-awareness-month
• http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/therootdc/post/national-bullying-prevention-month-when-your-child-is-a-bully/2012/10/01/8cd72c9a-0bdb-11e2-a310-2363842b7057_blog.html#
• http://www.national-awareness-days.com/national-bullying-prevention-month.html

National Stop Bullying Day

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By Akindman,

On Wednesday, February 9, our country marks National Stop Bullying Day. While this isn’t a day most of us commemorate each year, National Stop Bullying Day offers an opportunity for us to consider the children in our lives and begin a community-wide conversation about bullying. This is a conversation that too few adults are having today, but it is an important one.

The concept of bullying certainly isn’t new, but it is a problem that has become increasingly dangerous. As new technologies emerge, the way bullies target their victims continues to evolve. A taunt once hurled on a schoolyard and forgotten in days has become pervasive verbal abuse that is cached online forever. Online social networking sites, blogs and smart phones enable bullies to extend their impact on victims, allowing for around-the-clock harassment. When bullies target victims online or through text messages, it is often difficult for victims to escape and even harder for parents and school officials to act on the violence or slander that occurs.

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Research shows that 42 percent of children have been bullied online, and of this group of victims, one in four has experienced this kind of bullying more than once. It is important for children, parents, teachers and community leaders to discuss what can be done to stop this growing epidemic. Here are a few guidelines and suggestions to help parents protect their children.

Report bullying behaviors to appropriate officials.

Resist confronting the bully or the bully’s parents. Instead, report any unlawful or harassing behaviors to law enforcement. If incidents happen at school, report them to school officials. If your child receives cruel texts, don’t respond. Instead, make copies of them. This evidence may be useful to report to school officials or law enforcement.

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Educate kids about bullying at an early age.

Teach them what bullying means, what to expect as they get older, and ask them to promise to talk to you if someone ever makes them feel bad about themselves. Additionally, talk to your kids about social pressures that could prompt them to bully others, and teach them why bullying is wrong. Look for signs of anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts. Caring conversations with your child can impact their emotional health.

Approximately 864,000 teens stay home from school one day each month because they fear for their safety. The self-esteem-building nonprofit Hey UGLY (Unique Gifted Lovable You) has designated the second Wednesday of February (and the week it falls in) as a day and week for schools across America to conduct Stop Bullying classroom activities and school assembly presentations on how to eradicate bullying from schools and neighborhoods

What to Do When Someone is Being Bullied

Take a stand and do not join in. Make it clear that you do not support what is going on.

Do not watch someone being bullied. If you feel safe, tell the person to stop. If you do not feel safe saying something, walk away and get others to do the same. If you walk away and do not join in, you have taken their audience and power away.

Support the person being bullied. Tell them that you are there to help. Offer to either go with them to report the bullying or report it for them.

Talk to an adult you trust. Talking to someone could help you figure out the best ways to deal with the problem. Reach out to a parent, teacher or another adult that you trust to discuss the problem, especially if you feel like the person may be at risk of serious harm to themselves or others.

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Work to Prevent Bullying

Bullying is less likely to occur when there are strong messages against it. Work with your school, community, or other groups to create and support these messages:

Get involved with your school and community to find ways to prevent bullying.

Create an assembly, performance, or event to spread the message.

Be a leader and teach younger kids that bullying is not okay and that they can stop bullying before it begins.