A Tragic Accident and the Amazing Kindness of a Community

By Terry (Warren) Orr

This story took place 62 years ago - thanks to family members going through boxes of family belongings and researching the Internet we have been able to piece together our story.

Over sixty years ago my family was involved in a horrible vehicle accident killing two and injuring the other four passengers. This accident took place near a small rural town of Kincaid, Kansas. The nearest hospital was ‘New Allen County Hospital’ (which open earlier that year) in Iola, Kansas.

My Father recently turned 27, Mom was 26, I was 6, my sister 5, brother 3, and a baby brother was just one day shy of being two months old. We were returning home to Wichita from Kansas City after visiting our grandmother and to make final preparations for moving back there, as Dad has accepted a new position. 

Around 1:20pm, that afternoon on November 5, 1952 a 1940 Chevy pick up made a left-hand turn in front of us. Mom and the baby were killed instantly, my sister and father suffered serious injuries, while my brother and I suffered non-life threatening injuries.

On the following day after this accident, the Iola Register newspaper wrote two articles - first article was on page one, “Two Die in Crash at Kincaid” that described what had happen; and the second article found on page four titled "Preventable Tragedies" - which is provided below.

The Iola Register

Thursday, November 6, 1952

Page 4

Preventable Tragedies

The report in today's paper of the Kincaid accident, which cost two lives, indicated that the whole cause was poor eyesight on the part of one of the drivers.

If that is the case - how much longer is Kansas going to persist in a drivers' license law, which permits indefinite, automatic renewal without even the most cursory yearly physical examination?

It would cost quite a bit of money. But how much is a life worth - if it happens to be a member of your own family?

Curiously enough, there always seems to be considerable sympathy for any elderly man who involves himself in a wreck through his infirmities, even when that wreck mains or kills others.

"After all," they say, "the old man has to get around. He has to make a living, doesn't he?"

There are two answers to that.

The first is an unequivocal no. He doesn't have to get around and he doesn't have to make a living if his physical handicaps are so great that he can't do so without endangering the lives of others.  He can stay home and the state will take care of him. Or he can do something that doesn't require driving a car or truck.

The second is that an examination might turn a dangerous driver into a safe one by the simple expedient of requiring him to buy a pair of eyeglasses.

It is amazing the number of people who slide from good vision into bad so slowly that they don't realize the seriousness of the impairment that has taken place. This is especially true of near-sighed people who find their eyes good enough for everything they do with their hands but who have become so accustomed to a fuzzy distance vision that they jus think nothing about it.

Until they pull across the road in front of an approaching automobile they didn't see!

I suggest the legislature give this matter some mighty serious attention. A given number of strictly preventable tragedies will continue each month until it does.

While the author was not identified, this article is spot on and is as true today as it was 62 years ago.

On December 24, 1952, the Iola Register on page 1, published a Christmas card they received from our Grandmother, which read in part:

"We shall never forget the unusual kindness shown us following the death of our daughter-in-law and grandson, Mrs. W.C. Orr and infant, in an automobile accident near Kincaid," writes Mrs. Hodges, "nor the splendid treatment given her husband and their three children at the Allen County Hospital. May God Bless your wonderful town."

On January 1, 1953, The Register published an additional article related to our journey, “The Holloways Entertain at a Steak Dinner” from page one, that read:

A New Years Eve party and steak dinner was given last night at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Milt Holloway in Gas City for the tenants of their apartment house at 421 South Walnut in Iola.  Following the dinner David Holloway entertained the group with several vocal selections with Ruth Holloway at the piano.

Those present were Mrs. Pat Smith and her daughter Jeannie, Mrs. Eric Spicer, Miss Ida Perkins, Miss Ruby McCloud, Herschel Perry, Mrs. Mary Parkins and her sons Dickie and Allen all of Iola. Mr. and Mrs. Duane Canady and Sherry of Lawrence, Miss Margaret Tenny, and the three Orr children, Dwight, Lynn and Warren of LaCygne, who have been guest in the Holloway home for the past several days, and Mr. and Mrs. Holloway and their children Milton Jr., Elta Mae, Ruth, David and Steven.

Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Milton Holloway and family taking us in and making that evening very special.

Thank you Doctor Eugene Myers for taking such wonderful care of us.

Thank you each and every one of those exceptional individuals, families and communities for all that you did, offered to do and your love and support for our family.

With any event - there are always multiple perspectives, different memories, and certainly different facts and information that is processed uniquely to each person. This is my account of these events based upon: newspaper articles; passed along to me by my Father, Grandmothers, Aunt, and inputs from several immediate and extended family members.

We remain grateful, thankful, blessed and strengthen by the support, understanding, love and guidance given by so many.  To those generous people of Kansas – who provided so much during our recovery – words alone – simply can not expresses our thanks. For our Father – bless his soul, who gave us his best to keep us together and provide a solid foundation to grow upon. To Granny Greenwell who never shied away from anyone or anything to support and teaching us everything and more importantly doing the right thing and respecting others. To June who entered our lives at a critical juncture was truly a gift from above.

Acts of Kindness

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By Diane Forrest

The other day I was in the checkout line at the store.  I only had 1 item, but there was only one person there to check out and the person in front of me had a whole buggy load full.  I wasn't in any hurry, but the person ahead of me let me go first, and that just made me so happy.  It’s so nice when someone does something simple to make your day better.

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Today is Random Acts of Kindness Day, and the website actsofkindness.org has several suggestions on tips you can do to make someone's day a little brighter.  Some of the suggestions they list include:

Clean up Graffiti

Donate used books to the library

Give the elderly the gift of music

Help a child learn

Help someone whose car is broken down

Help someone with yard work

Hold the door open for someone

Thank the fire and police department

Write a letter to someone who has helped you

Study with a classmate

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The list is endless.  You don't have to spend any money, and in some cases very little time.  So today, do something nice for someone else, it will return to you 10 fold!

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World Kindness Day

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By Diane Forrest

When my husband died it was the worst time in my life.  Instead of sitting here suffering in my grief, I started thinking about his family members who were also distressed with his untimely passing.  I started sending them banana nut bread and making cards and letting them know that I would still be here for them.  Doing those small things for them made me feel better.  So I started expanding my recipient list.  There were a couple of ladies from my church who also had bedridden or home bound husbands.  I started sending them cards and baking them stuff too.  I would take dinner to my elderly neighbor across the street, and brownies to the doctor's office.  It would always bring a smile to their face, and brighten my day up too.

With all the bad things going on around us these days, the election, the hurricane, it’s not hard to find someone who could use a small act of kindness.  I was reading a little article about someone who made arrangements to have tires replaced on a woman's car because someone had done something nice for them.  I have a friend who visits friends in a nursing home even though they no longer recognize him because of Alzheimer’s.  I have a friend who put together a shoe-box full of things a little girl would need or want to ship out for Christmas.   You can read several heartwarming stories about acts of kindness; this is one of my favorites:

A well to do lady driving a new luxury automobile was taking a cross country trip and got a flat tire on a desolate stretch of the road. The first thing she did was to get her cell phone to call the auto club; unfortunately her phone had no signal. Her frustration turned to anxiety when an old pick-up truck stopped behind her and out came a young man in his late twenties. She was concerned because the fellow looked a bit shabby; her fear did subside when she realized he was probably a workman.

The young man offered to change her tire and the woman gladly accepted. As he was changing the tire they chatted; she told him her cell phone had no signal. The gentleman told her that there is no cell service in this area but would work as she got closer to the town a few miles away.  

The lady asked the young fellow if he was from the area; he told her he has always lived in the region with the exception of when he was in the Coast Guard for several years. The lady asked if she might be able to get her tire fixed nearby; the young man told her there is a service station in town and that they are still open. The young fellow finished changing the tire and the woman offered him some money for his help. The man refused to take the money and told the woman, "We all need a little help sometimes".  

The woman got back in her car and drove to the service station in the local town. She asked the manager of the service station if he could repair the tire; the manager said he would be glad to do it but it would take about an hour since his workers were busy. The woman noticed a diner across the street and told the manager that she wanted to get something to eat and an hour would be fine.  

The diner was relatively empty and the woman sat at a vacant table. A very tired looking pregnant waitress came over to take her order. The woman told the waitress that she looked like she was about due and that she should not be on her feet. The waitress told the lady that she was nearly eight months into her pregnancy and was tired because it was towards the end of her shift. The conversation continued and the woman said she was surprised that the waitress was working this kind of job so close to her due date. The young waitress explained that this was her first child and the economy being what it is she had to work. The waitress went on to say that both she and her husband were working hard but they had a strong faith that things will work out.  

The lady finished her meal, paid her bill and left to go pick up her car. The waitress went back to clean the table and found a plain white envelope. The waitress opened the envelope and found ten $50 bills with a note that said; "We all need a little help sometimes. God bless you and good luck with the baby".  

As tired as the waitress was she was overjoyed because she knew the money was a God send. On the drive home the waitress decided she would ask her husband how his day was before she shared the good news.  

Upon reaching home the waitress held back her excitement and asked her husband about his day; he replied:  

"Same old same old at work, we did have about ten minutes during lunch time to throw a football around. I was a few minutes late getting because I stopped to help a lady change a flat tire".

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Today is World Kindness day.  PBS.org offers these suggestions on ways to spread a little kindness:

• Leave something special on the neighbor's doorstep: Flowers, baked good, or invitation to share a meal.
• Make your kid's bed. Do the one chore your kid hates the most for him/her.
• Make a contribution toward this very important fund. Change and one dollar bills from piggy banks count too.
• Write a thank you or draw a picture for someone you love. Tell them what you love bout them and thank them for being themselves.
• Pay the toll for the car behind you, let your child give the money from the back window.
• Pick up some trash. Spend an hour cleaning up a park, school, or even your neighborhood.
• Make Hope Notes together as a family and spread them all over your city or town.
• Try to smile at 10 people today.
• Visit a grandparent or elderly friend.
• Start an Acts of Kindness list.

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If you have other ways to share kindness to your fellow man, send us a line and let us know.

Hospitality House Week

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By Diane Forrest

This past fall, a friend of mine's son was deathly ill, he was in ICU at a hospital away from home for nearly a month.  The doctors still do not know what was wrong with him, there was some speculation about West Nile Virus, but it was never diagnosed. His wife and my friend spent every day at the hospital, in the ICU waiting room praying for his recovery. My friend doesn't drive in the big city, and so she didn't have her car there.  The cost of eating out every day would have been terribly expensive, but they were fortunate enough to have local volunteers who delivered food to the waiting room daily to provide them a hot lunch and afternoon snacks.  That small act of kindness and generosity meant so much to her and her family during their time of need, and she hasn't forgotten it.

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This week is Hospitality House Week.  There are some larger cities that have an actual house where people with similar needs can stay for a night or too while waiting on word from a recovering family member.  There are also several Ronald McDonald houses that also provide these services. Thousands of families and patients of all ages and walks of life have found a haven within the warm home-like environments provided by our neighboring hospitality houses. Ronald McDonald House serves seriously ill children up to the age of 17, together with their families. SECU Family House provides lodging and support to seriously ill patients 18 and above. Across the country, homes that help and heal have become community assets, adding significant value to the medical centers and rehabilitation facilities whose patients and families they serve.

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If you have been fortunate to receive these services, and would like to contribute to the continued success, visit this site http://www.nahhh.org/ , if your community doesn't have such resources, why not start your own.  Check with your local hospital and find out what their needs are.  If there are families there watching over a sick loved one, offer to make some sandwiches or bake cookies, or provide a bag of apples.  One small act of kindness during a crisis is a huge blessing for everyone involved.

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World Kindness Day

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By Diane Forrest,

I get my town's newspaper every morning, but I normally read it online around midnight when they publish the new day stories.  The main reason I continue to get the paper at home is because I have a wonderful neighbor who lives across the street.  He is an elderly widow who walks a mile or two every morning.  During his walks he not only picks up trash along the road, but he also picks up my newspaper and throws it on my porch.  Having my paper available for him to toss on my porch not only allows him to perform an act of kindness for me, but it also allows me to keep check on him.  If my paper is not there for a couple of days I check to make sure he is well.  Last year he was ill for several weeks.  I was able to bring him dinner, bake him treats and check to see if he needed anything.  Finally my paper began to find its way back to my porch and I knew he was better.   I told my daddy he had to get well so I would stop bringing him food!

It is just small acts of kindness that make the world a better place.

When my husband passed away last year I was having difficulty with the insurance company paying the medical bills.  Many of you know that dealing with insurance companies is certainly no picnic.  They required proof that his illness was related to his injury.  Since my husband only had one primary care doctor, it was difficult to find corroborating statements from other doctors, so I asked the emergency room doctor, and the doctor who was on call for his primary doctor at the time of my husband's death to provide a statement for the insurance company.  I received two statements, and needed the third, but after weeks and weeks of calling and stopping by his office, I still did not have the statement.  I was always told that he was busy, that he had a pile of paperwork on his desk to get to, that his office was being done, after my last call earlier this week and getting the same response, I decided that instead of getting mad, I would take him some oatmeal raisin cookies that I had just baked along with a thank you note, taking him for his help.  Within the hour his receptionist called with the letter typed and ready to be picked up.

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Everyone has a choice in this world.  You can choose to be mean, grumpy, a complainer, or you can choose to be nice, happy and shower the world with kindness.

Today is World Kindness day.  It was introduced in 1998 at the World Kindness Movement (WKM).  The mission of the WKM is to inspire individuals towards greater kindness and to connect nations to create a kinder world.

There was a movie several years ago called Pay it Forward.  The idea behind the movie is if someone does a kindness to you, instead of paying that person back, repays them by doing an act of kindness to someone else, and so on and so on.  So today, on World Kindness Day you have a choice, and I hope you choose to pass on a small act of kindness to someone else.

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For more information on World Kindness Day visit this site:  http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/

Simple Act of Kindness

This story has made the rounds via email over the past couple years and found its way into my in box this week.  As in the previous times, I read it a couple times and said a silent thank you for receiving it once again.  It reminds me once again, just how important it is to help others. The significance is clear, simple act of kindness impact others lives, sometimes they save lives as in this heart warming story. 

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.   His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.  I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?  He must really be a nerd.'

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.  As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.

They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms, and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.  His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him...  He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.  My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.  As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.' They really should get lives.  


He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'  There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. 

As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before... He said he had gone to private school before now.  I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.  I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! He just laughed and handed me half the books...

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends... When we were seniors, we began to think about college.  Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.  I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem... He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship... Kyle was valedictorian of our class.  I teased him all the time about being a nerd... 

He had to prepare a speech for graduation.  I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great.

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.  He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech.  So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!'

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began ‘Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.  

I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.  He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable....’  I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.  Never underestimate the power of your actions...
 

With one small gesture, you can change a person’s life.

For better or for worse....

God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.