Senior Citizens

By Terry Orr

(Thanks Mary for the email)

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not try to blame others.

HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,

The pride out of appearance,

The courtesy out of driving,

The romance out of love,

The commitment out of marriage,

The responsibility out of parenthood,

The togetherness out of the family,

The learning out of education,

The service out of patriotism,

The Golden Rule from rulers,

The nativity scene out of cities,

The civility out of behavior,

The refinement out of language,

The dedication out of employment,

The prudence out of spending,

The ambition out of achievement or

God out of government and school.

And we certainly are NOT the ones who

eliminated patience and tolerance from

personal relationships and interactions with others!!

And, we DO understand the meaning of

patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.

Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts, as they stand at attention with their hand over their hearts, as the American Flag passes by in a parade!

YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!

I'm the life of the party.....

Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.

I'm very good at opening childproof caps.....

With a hammer.

I'm awake many hours before

my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time,

because I can't hear a thing you're saying.

I'm sure everything I can't find is

in a safe secure place, somewhere.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy,

and that's just my left leg.

I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.

Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN

and I think I am having the time of my life!

Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them.

Or, maybe I should send it to all my friends anyway.

They won't remember, even if they did send it.

Spread the laughter

Share the cheer

Let's be happy

While we're here.

MAY GOD BLESS AMERICA

AND MAY AMERICA

CONTINUE TO THANK GOD!!

Go Green - Recycle Congress!!!!

Flirting

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By Diane Forrest

Well Valentine's Day has come and gone, and if you found yourself alone, and wishing you had a special someone to share the day with, you may want to start that search now, to be ready for next year.  This is your lucky week!  It’s the National week of Flirting!

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When I think of flirting, the first thing I think of is the song Three Little Maids from School, A Rogers and Hammerstein song from the musical Mikado.  Here is a link to the song on you tube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXWkIZUPmDY

 

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Another is a scene from The Princess Diaries 2 Where the young princess Mia is learning the art of the fan from her grandmother, Queen Clarice, played by Julie Andrews.  You can see this scene here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXWkIZUPmDY

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While I may think of the use of the fan first, realistically, it’s not something I would use.  I mean, how many people do you ever run across that carry lace fans?  So, I looked around and checked out some other views for flirting.

The radio station 96.1 FM lists these as some clues:

She’s starts flipping her hair, playing with her clothes or jewelry.

If she laughs she thinks you’re cute or funny, (guffaws mean she wants to split.)

If she moves her body a lot, she’s trying to get your attention.

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Marriedromance.com also has some suggestions stating that just because you are married, doesn’t mean you can stop flirting with your spouse.  However it would be dangerous if you flirted with others!  Here are some tips they suggest:

Spend some time really looking at your spouse. Glance at him for a few seconds and then look away. Bat your eyelashes, lick your lips and look deeply into his eyes. Flash him a brilliant "just for you" smile and if you're feeling a little daring, lean in for that kiss after looking longingly at the shape of his mouth, the fullness of his lips, get the picture? Wink, wink. By the way, a saucy wink works well too.

Touch him, often and casually. A simple hand placed on an arm, or rub on the back in passing.

Send your spouse flowers, candy, or balloons, just because. Leave a note tucked in his luggage if he is traveling, or at home on his pillow or pockets.  My husband use to place little notes on the mirror in the bathroom, so I would always see them first thing.  I’m so glad I saved them all.

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There are many different ways to do some spontaneous flirting....use your imagination and bat those eyes!

Share the Love

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By Diane Forrest

Redneck Valentine Poem

Collards is green,

my dog's name is Blue

and I'm so lucky

to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk

a-flapping in the breeze.

Softer than Blue's

and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,

which excite me in May.

You ain't got no scales

but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry

jist a-fry'n in the pan.

Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"

right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,

for which I am proud;

I hold my head high

when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,

when you shave under yore arms,

well, I'm in hawg heaven,

and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,

they all want to know,

what I did to deserve

such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape

yo're there fer yore man,

to patch up life's troubles

and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug

a-buzzin' overhead.

You ain't mean like those far ants

I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth

like a plaid flannel shirt,

you spark up my life

more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight

like a padded gunrack,

my life is complete;

Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,

like the best vinyl sidin'.

despite all the years,

yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie

with a RC cold drank,

we go together

like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate

for Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart,

it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses

on that special day

from the cooler at Kroger.

"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds

from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever,"

they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,

these won't do.

Cause yor'e too special,

you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,

without taste nor odor,

more useful than diamonds...

IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

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When I was in elementary school, one of my favorite holidays was Valentine’s Day.  Everyone would make a box to place on their desk, and during our party, we would take turns and walk around delivering out cards to each student.  Then we would have cupcakes, cookies and other delicious treats. I couldn't wait to get home to open my cards to see what the boy I had a crush on put in my mailbox.

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I remember waking up every Valentine's Day, and sitting on my bedside table would be a heart shaped box of candy from my parents.  One of the saddest Valentine ’s Day was my first year at college.  There was no box of candy by my bed, or even in my mailbox.  The day was saved the next day when a nice big box of candy from my father came in the mail (after I called him crying of course).

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I have always loved passing out cars.  When I was working in the hospital, I would get the box of school valentines, and pass them to everyone I saw.  I would love picking out the perfect card for my husband, and I would always remember to put a heart shaped box of candy by my son's bed.

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My son grew up a little more cynical, he hates Valentine’s Day.  He accuses it of being a conspiracy between the card makers, the florists, and candy shops.  But Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be expensive.  I have started making my own cards, and making my own candy, and cookies - and passing it out to people in my life.  You can also send an email valentine card Its hard this year not having a Valentine to share the day with, but I get some joy in spreading the love to many people.

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So, if you don't have a special someone to share your day with, make a card and send to an elderly aunt or uncle, kids or neighbors.  Knowing that you put a smile on someone else's face will warm your heart too.  Happy Valentine's Day!!

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