Knowing How to Help Others

By Diane Forrest

I recently saw this video  - it  is a short, funny little skit about how a girl just wants to share her problem. Not have someone fix the problem, just to talk it out.  I am not that way.  If I have a problem I am looking for solutions and answers.  I may not choose to follow the answers I receive, but at least there are different options that I may not have considered.   There are some problems that can't be solved though, and I just need someone to listen, and sympathize with my plight.   

The difficult thing – is to know what your confidant is expecting, solutions or a listening ear.   I will discuss a problem with a friend and he will answer - don’t ask don't tell.  He is a very smart man, so I value his thoughts and opinions.   

When I was a newlywed many years ago, when I had my first problem I went to my father.  The words he gave me are still ringing in my ears today.  He advised me to not bring him any marital problems.  I was confused at the time until I later understood.  Sharing my marital woes with my family didn't solve my problem, but changed my family's opinion about my husband.  That can lead to a very difficult situation, because after your dispute has been resolved, your family will still harbor ill will.  I tried to explain this to my son and his wife when they were first married as well. 

So, how do you help? 

When do you help and when do you just say no?  

IT'S WHAT YOU SCATTER

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes - I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of  freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.

Pondering the peas, I couldn’t help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry, how are you today?'

'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good'

'They are good, Barry. How's your  Ma?'

'Fine.  Gittin' stronger alla' time.'

'Good. Anything I can help you with?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.'

'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for ‘em with.'

'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it', said Miller.

'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'

‘I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red.  Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.

'Not zackley but almost.'

'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble’. Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.

With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community; all three are in very poor circumstances.  Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.

When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip  to the store.'

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had  occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there  learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to  offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket.

Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one; each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.

They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their  debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,’ she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in  Idaho ...'

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral:

We will not be remembered by our words,  but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles.....

An unexpected phone call from an old friend...... Green traffic lights when you drive......

The fastest line at the grocery store....

Your keys found right where you left them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget. I just did......

If you don’t send it to anyone, it means you are in way too much of a hurry to even notice the ordinary miracles when they occur.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED!

Common Courtesy

By Diane Forrest

I have always heard you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but who wants to catch flies?  What this means is you will have more friends by being nice.   It's just as easy and makes the world a better place to live if you are nice to everyone.   A great time to be extra nice is today, National Common Courtesy Day.  Some things  you can do today to be Courteous are: 

• Say hello to everyone with a smile
• Hold the door open for the next person
• If people around you are trying to hear something, such as a movie, etc, be quite.  If you must speak, keep your voice down.
• If you have extra cookies or cupcakes, share some with your neighbors
• If you ride the train, subway or bus, offer to give your seat to an elderly or handicapped or pregnant person
• Don’t forget to say Please and  Thank You, especially to servers who are waiting on you
• Be considerate of those around you, if you are able, help someone in need, such as helping someone load groceries to their car, or helping an elderly person cross the street

One of my favorite children’s songs is from the Big Purple Dinosaur, Barney, where he sings about saying “Please and Thank You.”  You can hear it at:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3CgwV3o7AM

   

It doesn't cost a dime to be courteous, and the payback you get is fantastic.  Instead of having a Common Courtesy Day, I think we should make it a Common Courtesy Year, or even a Common Courtesy Life!

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Acts of Kindness

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By Diane Forrest

The other day I was in the checkout line at the store.  I only had 1 item, but there was only one person there to check out and the person in front of me had a whole buggy load full.  I wasn't in any hurry, but the person ahead of me let me go first, and that just made me so happy.  It’s so nice when someone does something simple to make your day better.

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Today is Random Acts of Kindness Day, and the website actsofkindness.org has several suggestions on tips you can do to make someone's day a little brighter.  Some of the suggestions they list include:

Clean up Graffiti

Donate used books to the library

Give the elderly the gift of music

Help a child learn

Help someone whose car is broken down

Help someone with yard work

Hold the door open for someone

Thank the fire and police department

Write a letter to someone who has helped you

Study with a classmate

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The list is endless.  You don't have to spend any money, and in some cases very little time.  So today, do something nice for someone else, it will return to you 10 fold!

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...worth a 1,000 words ...

Things that make you think!

Random Thoughts for Today

Get Involved it is Family Volunteer Day

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By Diane Forrest

I come from a long line of volunteers.  My family has been involved with many different projects to help others.  My grandmother would help with the voting process on Election Day, and would help grade school papers for prisoners.  My grandfather would tape the Sunday sermons and make copies to take to shut ins who were not able to attend church.  My Father volunteers in any place he can, he does so much he was named the Natchezian of the year.  It’s an honor given to those who selflessly give their time and knowledge to help the community.  My mother was awarded an Unsung Hero award for all her many contributions as well.  They instilled these values in me too.  When I was younger I was a candy striper at the local hospital, and as I got older I became a pink lady, at another hospital.  I have helped at church and the children's home.  It seemed only natural to teach my son these values as well.  When he was only 4 or 5 years old, I would spend the day with him making cards, then we would deliver them to the local nursing homes and spend time visiting with the patients.  He would go through his toys every year at Christmas, and take some to the children's home to share with them.  As he grew older, he took a few mission trips to Bolivia to volunteer his time in helping to build a church, and provide medical assistance.  When he was only 15 years old!  He became an Eagle Scout at a young age, and one of his projects was to clear the weeds and repair fences at a small local cemetery on the edge of town.

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Today is Family Volunteer Day.  There is no age too young to begin this worthwhile family activity.  The younger you start teaching your children; they will continue this tradition for many years to come, making them better individuals, and continuing the cycle with their families.  Some ways you can help volunteer with your family today include:

• Helping the homeless and hungry
• Helping the Elderly
• Helping the disabled
• Helping with children
• Helping with animals
• Helping the environment

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With the recent storms of New York and New Jersey, I have been reading several stories about those who are sick or disabled, who have no way to get out, and need help from the power outages.  People have carried water up to those living in high storied buildings, and provided food and blankets to those in need.  It’s not hard to look around in your area for those in need of help.  You can spend the day cleaning a widow's yard, hold a neighborhood parent's night out, you can gather neighbors old newspapers to deliver to the animal shelters to line the cages with, or collect coats for the coming winter months.  Sharing sometime today with your family while helping others will not only strengthen your family bonds, but will put a glow in your heart too.

World Humanitarian Day 2012

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By Terry Orr

“This year’s World Humanitarian Day presents an historic opportunity to bring together one billion people from around the world to advance a powerful and proactive idea: People Helping People. That is the best way to honour the many fallen aid workers we mourn today, and to celebrate the efforts of others who carry on their noble mission by rushing assistance to those who are suffering.”

Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon

Every day humanitarian aid workers help millions of people around the world, regardless of who they are and where they are. World Humanitarian Day is a global celebration of people helping people.

This year’s campaign "I Was Here" is about making your mark by doing something good, somewhere, for someone else.

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The World Health Organization (WHO) states:

Natural disasters, conflicts and other emergencies threaten the lives and health of millions of people every year. In the middle of such crises, thousands of dedicated humanitarian workers strive to care for those who have been affected and support local authorities to deliver assistance. On World Humanitarian Day, WHO and other international bodies are highlighting the roles performed by humanitarian workers, and remembering aid workers who have been killed or injured while performing their vital roles.

World Humanitarian Day offers the chance:

• for the public to learn more about the humanitarian community, what aid workers do and the challenges they face;
• for nongovernmental and international bodies and UN agencies, to demonstrate their humanitarian activities;
• to pay respect to those who have died or been injured in the course of their humanitarian work.

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References and links:

http://www.un.org/en/events/humanitarianday/background.shtml

http://www.trust.org/alertnet/news/world-humanitarian-day-2012-and-older-people-helping-them-help-each-other/

Mentoring Matters

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By Akindman,

National Mentoring Month is a campaign held each January to promote youth mentoring in the United States. It was inaugurated in 2002,[2] and is spearheaded by the Harvard School of Public Health, MENTOR, and the Corporation for National and Community Service.

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Participants in the National Mentoring Month campaign include leading nonprofit organizations and numerous governors and mayors. Designated nonprofit and governmental agencies are responsible for coordinating local campaign activities in communities across the country, including media outreach and volunteer recruitment. Local lead partners include state and local affiliates of MENTOR/National Mentoring Partnership, Corporation for National and Community Service, Points of Light Foundation and Volunteer Center National Network, America's Promise Alliance, Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, Communities in Schools, and United Way of America.

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January 24 and 25, 2012 was the 2012 National Mentoring Summit held in Washington, DC “Invest in the Future: Mentor a Child Supporting Youth through Mentoring”.

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National Mentoring Month (www.nationalmentoringmonth.org) is an excellent web site to start your own journey in becoming or refreshing your skills as a mentor.

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Mentor National Mentoring Partnership (www.mentoring.org) is another excellent site to visit and get involved.

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National Family Volunteer Day

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By Diane Forrest,

When I grow up I want to be just like my daddy.  He is my hero, and everyone loves him.  He is well respected in the community because of all of his civic duties.  My father has volunteered on just about every committee and board in the state.  A few years ago he was even voted Natchezian of the year.  An award given by the Chamber of Commerce to those in the community w who have given unselfishly of their time and effort for the betterment of Natchez and Adams County.

My mother is also heavily involved in volunteering her time and energy.  In fact she recently won an award this past April and was described as the quintessential volunteer not only in her church but all over Natchez.  She was also awarded one of the "Unsung Hero" award by the Chamber of Commerce.  This is an award given to members of the community who go over and above in their volunteer efforts.

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My son began volunteering at a young age too; he worked with the cub scouts, volunteered with our church and children's home, and even took 2 trips to Bolivia to assist with medical care and building.  When he was only 14 and 15 years old.

I'm no slouch either when it comes to volunteering.  I have volunteered at the church, our town's orphanage, at work and at school.  It gives you such a sense of pride and achievement when you can forget about your own problems for a while, and help someone else.

Today is National Family Volunteer Day.  It is a day where you can get together with your family and help your fellow man.  The holiday season is a great time to volunteer your time and services.  You don't have to do anything huge or elaborate.  You can take your family to an elderly or widowed neighbor and offer to clean their yard; you can go shopping and make a food basket for a needy family.   You can even clean out your closets and toys and donate them to your local Red Cross or shelter.  You can take your family to a local soup kitchen and serve a meal for a day.

The possibilities are endless, limited only by your imagination.  So on Family Volunteer Day, take your family and provide a service for someone else, and if you need other ideas, click on this site: 

http://www.thevolunteerfamily.org/?gclid=CODLrMudu6wCFY2b7QodtCmunw

We would love to hear your stories and ideas about your family have spent the day volunteering.

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World Kindness Day

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By Diane Forrest,

I get my town's newspaper every morning, but I normally read it online around midnight when they publish the new day stories.  The main reason I continue to get the paper at home is because I have a wonderful neighbor who lives across the street.  He is an elderly widow who walks a mile or two every morning.  During his walks he not only picks up trash along the road, but he also picks up my newspaper and throws it on my porch.  Having my paper available for him to toss on my porch not only allows him to perform an act of kindness for me, but it also allows me to keep check on him.  If my paper is not there for a couple of days I check to make sure he is well.  Last year he was ill for several weeks.  I was able to bring him dinner, bake him treats and check to see if he needed anything.  Finally my paper began to find its way back to my porch and I knew he was better.   I told my daddy he had to get well so I would stop bringing him food!

It is just small acts of kindness that make the world a better place.

When my husband passed away last year I was having difficulty with the insurance company paying the medical bills.  Many of you know that dealing with insurance companies is certainly no picnic.  They required proof that his illness was related to his injury.  Since my husband only had one primary care doctor, it was difficult to find corroborating statements from other doctors, so I asked the emergency room doctor, and the doctor who was on call for his primary doctor at the time of my husband's death to provide a statement for the insurance company.  I received two statements, and needed the third, but after weeks and weeks of calling and stopping by his office, I still did not have the statement.  I was always told that he was busy, that he had a pile of paperwork on his desk to get to, that his office was being done, after my last call earlier this week and getting the same response, I decided that instead of getting mad, I would take him some oatmeal raisin cookies that I had just baked along with a thank you note, taking him for his help.  Within the hour his receptionist called with the letter typed and ready to be picked up.

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Everyone has a choice in this world.  You can choose to be mean, grumpy, a complainer, or you can choose to be nice, happy and shower the world with kindness.

Today is World Kindness day.  It was introduced in 1998 at the World Kindness Movement (WKM).  The mission of the WKM is to inspire individuals towards greater kindness and to connect nations to create a kinder world.

There was a movie several years ago called Pay it Forward.  The idea behind the movie is if someone does a kindness to you, instead of paying that person back, repays them by doing an act of kindness to someone else, and so on and so on.  So today, on World Kindness Day you have a choice, and I hope you choose to pass on a small act of kindness to someone else.

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For more information on World Kindness Day visit this site:  http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/

Pitch In

By Diane Forrest,

I live in a small town, so our newspaper isn't very big, not a lot of news going on here...but like some folks say, no news is good news.  That's why I love waking up on Sunday morning to get the newspaper.  I know it is gonna be thick and full of all kinds on good information.  My favorite sections are the Lifestye, which has all the wedding and engagement stories, the Funnies, and the USA Weekend magazine.

In 1992 the magazine created the Make a Difference day.  I remember being so impressed with the people in these stories going out into their communities and doing thing for their neighbors.  Now it is an annual event that takes place every 4th Saturday in October.  Millions of people are involved by helping millions more people.

It takes the form of cleanup, fix up, painting, and repair in poorer neighborhoods, parks and municipal facilities. It doesn't matter what project you take on. It doesn't matter whether you help a non-profit organization, the community, your town, nursing home, a church, a food kitchen, or any other group in need. What matters is that you participate.

Today is Make a Difference Day, and while it is a specific day for helping your fellow man, you can make a difference any day, every day.

Here in the south we have had our fair share of natural disasters, from hurricanes, to tornados, Ice storms, and most recently flooding.   We have been so blessed with the outpouring of love and kindness and help from our fellow man.  People and groups from all over have come to our assistance on more than one occasion.  They have helped by cleaning and rebuilding, to provide shelter, food and clothing.

There is a time in everyone's life when they need a helping hand, so today, why don’t you put out your hands to help your fellow man.

For more information about how you can make a difference go to these sites:

http://www.usaweekend.com/article/99999999/MDDAY/90917001/Make-Difference-Day-Getting-started

http://www.handsonnetwork.org/