Humor of the Day

By Diane Forrest

One of the things that make things so funny is that there is some truth to the matter being discussed.  Most of the country is experiencing a heat wave this week, here are a few pictures that will hopefully bring a smile to your face and think about how cold it was last winter!   Is it hot enough for you?

[Photos from Google] 

Getting it Together - 2013

(Google Image)

By Terry Orr

Last year in our “Getting it Together” article, I mention my desire/goal to move more into the digital environment and rely less on paper.  Short version – it is still ‘a work-in-progress’.  Both my wife and I are trying to enter our appointments and activities into our iPhone – but we both forget sometimes and like others, find conflicts from time to time.  The other challenge is keeping my contacts up to date on all our devices (iPhone, iPad, iMac, and Windows Laptop and desktop).

(Google Image)

There are seven articles planned for January on helping us get organized (probably more needed for some of us folks). This is article – “Getting it together – update 2013” is an overview with the following topic specific articles to follow:

Get Organized Month;

Clean off your Desk;

Organize your Home Day;

National Clean Up your Computer;

Clean out your Email Box; and

Home Office Safety and Security.

(Google Image)

I might be inclined to seek some help this year – shocker I know – but it just might be money well spent.  Instead – I spend four hours in the garage and it shows it – in a positive way no less.  I’ll still keep an open mind about seeking help – some of the other challenges may require an expert.

(Google Image)

Maxine’s Perspective of 2012

By Terry Orr

(Thanks for the email Toni)

As we progress into 2013, I want to thank you all for your educational e-mails over the past year.  I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.

I must send my special thanks for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me..

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan ..

Thanks to you I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice I can't ever pick up a dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbors ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician!

Oh, and by the way...

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

NOW YOU HAVE YOURSELF A VERY GOOD DAY and a MERRY CHRISTMAS TOO!

Celebrating Thanksgiving Day 2012

(Google Image) 

By Diane Forrest

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays.  You get to visit with family, eat delicious food, and there is no stress about buying presents (that comes tomorrow!)  Today it’s just food, fun and football.

(Google Image) 

One of the things I like to do at our Thanksgiving dinner is to go around the table, and ask people what they are thankful for.  Some years it is harder than others. Two years ago, it was very hard to be thankful when my husband had just passed away.  This year, it will be hard for my son's wife who lost her father, and her grandmother was diagnoses with cancer.  Even in the midst of tragedy, there is always something to be thankful for.  My son just started a new job on the 19th of this month, and even though he will be moving farther away, I am thankful that in this economy, that he has a good paying job.

(Google Image) 

This has been a stressful year, with the presidential elections and debates, and television ads, and polls.  I am thankful that it is all over, and the country can get back to normal again.  I am thankful for my family, and my friends.  I have the best friends in the world, who are always there for me, listen to my problems, and keep me company during all the lonely times.   I am thankful for my dog, Snoopy.  He is always protecting me, letting me know if there is someone nearby, and never makes a mess.  I am thankful for all of you.  Writing on this blog not only keeps me busy and comforts me, but it also teaches me things about what is going on in the world today.

(Google Image) 

So this year, go around your table and see what others are thankful for, even if it just being thankful for waking up this morning and smelling that fresh cooked turkey!

(Google Image) 

(Google Image) 

HAPPY FALL EVERYONE!

(another wonderful email to share)

Maxine's thoughts on Fall

The Economy is so bad...Maxine