What Do You Read in the Bathroom?

By Terry Orr

June is National Bathroom Reading Month!

Did you know?

The average American spends anywhere from 700 to 2,000 hours on the toilet throughout their lives. While cavemen were relegated to counting rocks to pass the time, modern man is blessed with a plethora of books designed to keep us amused.

There is actually websites dedicated to Popular Bathroom Reading Books (this is true folks – fact if often more interesting than fiction) and one such site is Good Reads (dot Com).

Here is a selected example of books from their list of 543 books:

• The Darwin Awards (one of my all-time favorites)
• Uppity Women of Medieval Times (never heard of it)
• Harriet the Spy (who would have thunk)
• The Alphabet of Manliness
• Earth (The Book): A Visitor’s Guide to the Human Race
• Meditations
• Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything; and
• The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead.

Reader’s Digest offers these 9 Funny Books that Make Great Bathroom Reading:

1. Uncle John’s Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader
2. The 50 Funniest American Writers
3. Ken Jennings’s Trivia Almanac
4. The Ultimate Book of Top Ten Lists
5. Fierce Pajamas
6. The Greatest Stories Never Told
7. Guinness World Records™ 2012
8. What's in a Name?
9. 100 Wonders of the World

So we would like to know your favorite bathroom reading material – please let us know – thanks.

(Images from Google) 

Burn Awareness Week

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By Nurse Diane

During the winter months the temperatures around the country have been freezing and below.  People use many different methods to heat their homes.  Many use electric heat, through vents or either electric portable heaters.  Some use gas heaters, others use oil or kerosene, even fire places. My grandmother's home had a gas heater that was attached to the wall; it was long and flat, much like a mirror in a dressing room.  As a child I remember standing in front of it on cold winter mornings as it warmed up my backside.

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There is alot of cooking going on during the winter months too.  Many people cook soups, stews, coffee and hot chocolate.  This extra cooking not only warms up the kitchen, but warms up your insides too.

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One of the dangers with all this heating and cooking is that it can lead to fires and burns. A friend of mine in Virginia has recently had two family members lose their homes to fire.  This week is Burn Awareness Week.  While most adults are aware of the temperatures associated with cooking and heaters, young children are not.  They are curious, and want to explore new and different things in their surroundings. It is important to remember that children, especially those ages 4 and under, may not perceive danger, have less control of their environment, may lack the ability to escape a life-threatening burn situation and may not be able to tolerate the physical stress of a burn injury.

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According to safekids.org,

Every day, 352 children ages 19 and under are injured as a result of a fire or burn-related cause.

Among children under 5 years of age, scalds or contact burns are responsible for 90 percent of burn injuries.

Children have thinner skin than adults which can result in a more severe burn.

The most common places children experience scalds are in the kitchen or dining rooms and in the bathrooms.

The maximum recommended residential water temperature is 120˚F (48˚C).

Their site lists some safety tips for you to follow in the kitchen and bathroom.  They include:

KITCHEN AND HOT FOOD

Keep children at least 3 feet from hot appliances, pots, pans or food.

Use spill-resistant mugs when drinking hot liquids around children.

Avoid using tablecloths or anything a child can pull on and cause hot food to spill.

When cooking, use back burners and keep pot handles turned towards the back of the stove.

Always tuck cords from appliances where children cannot reach them.

Never hold a child when cooking something hot.

Test and stir all food before serving children to make sure it is cool enough to eat.

Supervise children closely when they are in or near the kitchen.

BATHROOM

Always test the bath water with your hand before bathing children.

When children are in or near the bath, watch them closely checking the water temperature frequently!

If you are unable to control the temperature that comes out of your faucet, install special tub spouts or shower heads that can shut off the flow of water when it gets too hot.

This week and every week - keep these tips in mind to prevent any accidental burns or scalding, and keep yourself and family safe.

Maxine’s Perspective of 2012

By Terry Orr

(Thanks for the email Toni)

As we progress into 2013, I want to thank you all for your educational e-mails over the past year.  I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.

I must send my special thanks for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the cinema because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping centers because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me..

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan ..

Thanks to you I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice I can't ever pick up a dime coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbors ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician!

Oh, and by the way...

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

NOW YOU HAVE YOURSELF A VERY GOOD DAY and a MERRY CHRISTMAS TOO!

Compliment your Mirror Day

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By Diane Forrest

So today is Compliment your Mirror Day.  After researching this subject, it was explained that it’s not the mirror to be complimented, but the reflection in the mirror.  I have never been one of those people who constantly gaze into a mirror to check themselves out.  I know some of those people....who have to look at every mirror and even carry one with them at all times.  It reminds me of the song, "You're So Vain".

You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht

Your hat strategically dipped below one eye

Your scarf it was apricot

You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte

And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner

They'd be your partner, and...

You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you

You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you

Don't you? Don't You?

Front Door Mirror

I took some pictures of some of my special mirrors, so I would like to compliment them.  My favorite is a mirror that I have by my front door.  It has a marble shelf that allows me to put little nic nacs on.  I change them every season, and as you can see, I have my patriotic things on it now.  I have witches for Halloween, Pilgrims for Thanksgiving, Santa’s for Christmas, and snowmen for winter, and bunnies for Easter, and birds for in between times.  My next favorite mirror is hanging by my back door.  I use this mirror to check my appearance before heading out, to make sure my hair is not standing up on ends, and that I don’t have any chocolate on my face.  It belonged to my mother in law, and sits in a simple old wooden frame.  Across the top are some magnolia stems that were used to decorate at my wedding, and every time I look at it I am reminded of that wonderful day.

Diane's Oval Mirror

Another favorite mirror is an oval shaped mirror that is hanging on my bedroom wall.  This was the first large mirror that I ever bought.  I remember when I bought it I felt so grown up.  The last favorite mirror on my list is another large mirror that I bought to hang in my bathroom.  When my husband and I moved here, the bathroom was very small, so a new bathroom had to be built to accommodate him in his wheelchair. This was my first attempt at interior design, and I wanted it to be perfect for my husband.  An ordinary bathroom mirror would simply not do.  I went to an antique store that was going out of business, and found this beautiful mirror that was more than half price off the original price. I bought it at once and brought it home and the contractors hung it and turned a handicap accessible bathroom into a more special place.

Bathroom Mirror

Mirrors are necessary to check our appearance, but they are also useful in boosting our self-esteem.  One of my favorite pictures is the one of the cat looking into the mirror, and sees the lion looking back.  So today, when you look at your reflection in the mirror put a big smile on your face and compliments your mirror for displaying this beautiful person.