By Nurse Diane
Nearly 30 years ago, a friend of mine lost his daughter not long after she was born. He has 6 more children, and still grieves for the baby he lost. Over 50 years ago, my husband's parents lost a child after 3 months. He was born with a hole in his heart. My husband never met him; he died before my husband was born, but he still talked about him, and put flowers on his grave every time we went to visit his mother. A member of my church had a son who committed suicide. A few days later his wife learned that she was pregnant. The day before the scheduled c section, there was no heart beat detected. She was rushed to the hospital for an emergency section, but it was too late. The baby had died.
According to October15th.com, when a child loses his parents, he is called an orphan, when a spouse loses a mate, he is called a widow or widower. But, there is no word used to describe a parent who has lost a child. This month serves to recognize the loss that so many parents share, and offer support to these parents. Sometimes the world forgets about the grief that is encountered all around us. Sometimes, we just dont know what to say, or how to act with people who have a loss in their family.
This Month is Pregnancy and Infant loss Awareness Month. For tips to show your support and encouragement, visit this site: http://www.october15th.com/ .
Here are some other ideas on how to share your support:
- Cook a nice dinner or bake something special for your friend or loved one who has suffered a loss.
- Plan a balloon release in a park or at a church.
- Write a poem, or read a poem or quote from your favorite author.
- Light a candle at home or at church, or plan a candle-lighting ceremony.
- Spend the day with your friend or loved one. See a movie. Take a walk.
- Plant a tree or decorate a special garden stone in honor of the child(ren) lost.
- Send a card. It doesn’t have to say all the perfect things. It just has to say “I’m thinking of you”.
Just once I wish I could have spent a late hour rocking you in my arms.
Just once I wish I could have gently lain you in your crib.
I wish I could have changed a diaper, chosen an outfit for the day,
given you a bath, soothed your skin with lotion...
Just once I wish I could have heard you cry out
in loneliness for me, spent time alone with you.
Just the two of us, strolled you proudly through the shopping mall.
Just once I wish I could have heard the words:
"What a beautiful, healthy baby boy!"
-- Author Unknown--