Thursday, September 22, 2011

Dear Diary Day

By Diane Forrest,

Dear Diary,

May 30, 2010: Just moved to Georgia from Ohio. Now, this is a place that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a park while lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14, 2010: Really heating up. Got to 100 degrees today!  Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

June 30, 2010:Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. The yard is a breeze to maintain! No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love living in Georgia.

July 10, 2010:The temperature hasn't been below 100 degrees all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy, but getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15, 2010:Feel asleep by the pool. I Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson, though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20, 2010:Morgan (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids he ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits! I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25, 2010: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer! And it's hot as hell! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz, The AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order the parts.

July 30, 2010: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. The monthly house payment is $1,500 and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

August 4, 2010: It’s 105 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today for a cost of $900. The temperature gets down to 78 degrees, but this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95 degrees. I hate this stupid state.

August 8, 2010:If another wise ass person cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!

August 9, 2010: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in the car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost two layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.

August 10, 2010:The weather report might as well be a recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for two damn months, and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so I might as well watch $1,700 worth of cactus just dry up and blow into the damn pool. Not even cactus can live in this damn heat.

August 14, 2010: Welcome to HELL!!!The temperature got to 105 degrees today.Forgot to crack the window and blew out the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to fix it and said "Hot enough for you today? “My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail. Freaking South. What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

Today is Dear Diary Day.  A Diary is a record (originally in handwritten format) with discrete entries arranged by date reporting on what has happened over the course of a day or other period. A personal diary may include a person's experiences, and/or thoughts or feelings, including comment on current events outside the writer's direct experience.  There are other types of diaries.  You can have a travel diary, sleep diary, diet diary or war diary.  There are captain's "logs" for ships.  I used to keep a diary of my husband's condition.  It was like the nurses notes that I would write while working in the hospital.

Diaries are a great way to report historic events.   The most famous diary is the Diary of Ann Frank, however many Presidents have also recorded events in their diaries as well.

So even if you aren't a President, today would be a great day to start your diary...who knows? They may make a movie out of it one day!

No comments:

Post a Comment