Thursday, September 29, 2011

Questions - all those silly and stupid questions

By Diane Forrest,

How many times have you heard 'There are no stupid questions"?  Well today is ask a stupid question day, but if there are no stupid questions, then this will be a hard task to accomplish.  However, if you listen to my dad, he will tell you "ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer."

The roots of this special day goes back to the 1980's. At the time, there was a movement by teachers to try to get kids to ask more questions in the classroom. Kids sometimes hold back, fearing their question is stupid, and asking it will result in ridicule. Teachers created this day on September 28, If it fell on a weekend, they would celebrate it on the last day of the month.

As I was thinking about this day...the first thing that came to mind was Bill Engval.  He has become famous with his "Here's your sign" routine.  This came about because people asked stupid questions and they were awarded a "stupid" sign.  Here are a few he has told:

We're in the process of remodeling our house; we've been doing it for a while now. And we have the painters in, putting sheets up around the furniture, you know? And we have a piano, just a regular, up against the wall piano. One of the painters said to me, "Is that y'all's piano?" I said, "Nah, that's our coffee table, it just has buckteeth!" Here's your sign!

I go to the flow'r feller, and get her flow'rs, and a card. And he asks me what this is for. And I tell him my grandma just passed away, hundred and four years old. And he says, "Ooh, a hundred and four? How'd she die?" How'd she die; she's a hundred and four! She wrecked her Harley up there at BikeWeek! Here's your sign!

My son, when he was six years old, was going to fly by himself from Dallas to Austin, to spend a week with his grandparents. I'm putting him on the plane; his grandmother is going to take him off the plane. And the woman who I was buying the ticket from asks, "Is there going to be anyone in Austin to pick him up when he gets off the plane?" Nope, I'm gonna pin a twenty dollar bill to his collar and wish him the best of luck! Here's your sign!

The best one I've seen yet happened in Los Angeles, California. I got stuck behind a big rig that wedged his trailer up underneath an overpass and me and the trucker are waiting on the side of the road on the tow truck driver. Well, the highway patrolman pulls up and looks at the guy's rig and he looks at the trucker and I'm thinking, "Oh, Dear God, he can't say it," 'cause I'll start laughing. Sure enough, he goes, "You get your truck stuck?" And God bless this trucker, without missing a beat, he goes: "Nope. I was delivering that overpass and I ran out of gas. Here's your sign."


Here are some more stupid questions:

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say
"Is this chicken what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says Chicken, by the Sea," the very brainy Jessica Simpson asked then husband Nick Lachey on their reality show "Newlyweds."

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" a geographically challenged Christina Aguilera reportedly asked.

Do fish get thirsty?

How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? For that matter, why is it called 7-11?


Ok, I could go on and on, but you get the idea.  So today, on Ask a stupid question day, go ahead and ask away, I promise not to laugh!  Send us one of your favorite "stupid questions"

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