Thursday, February 14, 2013

Share the Love


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By Diane Forrest

Redneck Valentine Poem
Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

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When I was in elementary school, one of my favorite holidays was Valentine’s Day.  Everyone would make a box to place on their desk, and during our party, we would take turns and walk around delivering out cards to each student.  Then we would have cupcakes, cookies and other delicious treats. I couldn't wait to get home to open my cards to see what the boy I had a crush on put in my mailbox.
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I remember waking up every Valentine's Day, and sitting on my bedside table would be a heart shaped box of candy from my parents.  One of the saddest Valentine ’s Day was my first year at college.  There was no box of candy by my bed, or even in my mailbox.  The day was saved the next day when a nice big box of candy from my father came in the mail (after I called him crying of course).
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I have always loved passing out cars.  When I was working in the hospital, I would get the box of school valentines, and pass them to everyone I saw.  I would love picking out the perfect card for my husband, and I would always remember to put a heart shaped box of candy by my son's bed.
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My son grew up a little more cynical, he hates Valentine’s Day.  He accuses it of being a conspiracy between the card makers, the florists, and candy shops.  But Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be expensive.  I have started making my own cards, and making my own candy, and cookies - and passing it out to people in my life.  You can also send an email valentine card Its hard this year not having a Valentine to share the day with, but I get some joy in spreading the love to many people.
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So, if you don't have a special someone to share your day with, make a card and send to an elderly aunt or uncle, kids or neighbors.  Knowing that you put a smile on someone else's face will warm your heart too.  Happy Valentine's Day!!

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