Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Use your Common Sense Day

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By Diane Forrest

When I was in school I knew this girl - she was so smart, made straight A's, got a full scholarship for college, got a great job, but she was dumb as a brick!  She was book smart, but had no common sense.  I’m sure you know people that you can say the same thing about.  It makes me wonder, how can they be so smart in one area, but completely clueless in everyday life?  I can only guess that their mind is so concentrated on one thing, that they let the smaller tasks slide by.
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Today is Use your Common Sense Day.  This day was started in honor of Will Rogers, who made a legacy of spouting out words of wisdom.  One of my favorites is if you want a fast way to double your money, take it out, fold it in half and stick it back in your wallet.  Below are some common sense warnings that have been found on regular every day products:
  • Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.
  • "Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.
  • "Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11.
  • "Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap.
  • "Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper.
  • "Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner.
  • "Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits.
  • "In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual.
  • "Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.
  • "Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.
  • "Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.
  • "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
  • "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
  • "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
  • "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
  • "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.
  • "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."
  • "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
  • "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
  • "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
  • "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
  • "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
  • "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
  • "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
  • "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
  • "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
  • "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
  • "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
  • "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
  • One of my father's favorite comedian’s is the one who always says "here's your sign."  One of my favorite stories he tells is of the truck driver who gets stuck under the bridge.  When a policeman shows up - he is laughing and says - get stuck?  The guy answers, nope - was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!  Here's your sign!

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Today is a day to use your common sense, and you can go back to being book smart tomorrow!

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